17

I stopped writing, I lost my rhythm.

But it's all fine. I'm still learning Japanese. I'm not practicing typing as much as I'd like to thought. But it's all fine.

I watched an inspiring video yesteray, by a guy who learned Japanese really fast. And I had an inspiring conversation recently about wanting to have more interesting things happen to me.

Going back to Monty's death for a second here, I think it was such a shock to me that it had that effect people sometimes talk about - shock bringing change. He had so much "main character energy" that after his death one of the most intense emotions I felt was "if he's not around to do the cool things, then who will do them? it must be me!".

I think I lost that energy over the past 10 years. I expected this to happen, but it's still sad. But I'm growing it back. I know what I got instead - financial stability, improved quality of life, and so on. Maybe I could have everything. Both the stability (or even riches) and the creativity and social life and so on and so on. Yeah. I could get it. But I don't mind the priorities I ended up having now.

What's left is getting back some main character energy. Starting with learning Japanese so fast that I'm going to surprise everyone I know! No. I don't want to have goals. I fail them, and I stop believing in them... But... main character energy needs them.

N1 this December? Would that be surprising? Maybe.

If there's one goal for this year, it's gotta be the Japanese language.

Maybe I should even write some posts like this in Japanese.

Also, I tried making my PC boot from the SSD and it's not working for some reason. I change the boot thing and it just changes back. It's either refind, or just my uefi, idk. I spent half a day on this.

And I set up the ssh connection to my server (the one running this wiki) from a spare laptop. Now I'll also set up the proxy connection, the autossh, the way to access the laptop directly, it's gotta be good. I also want to figure out how to hack this wiki (or switch to a different one) to have it in a subdir of the site.